It's been a quick nine months since my last post, when I announced I was moving out of Utah. I'm happy to report that Arizona has been good to me. In fact, it's been exactly what I needed. I left the mountains and friends I loved to come home for a reset. In a short amount of time, nearly every piece of my life - and every piece of me - fell apart, and I needed some time and space to heal. Arizona has provided me with supportive family and friends and plenty of therapy for emotional and spiritual healing.
I got rid of the pieces of myself that somehow leeched themselves onto me in some dark times. I also brought back some pieces of myself I love that were lost along the way. And the rest of me started anew. That shy, insecure, depressed girl I was last year? She's gone. And after five years, my words and my passion for writing are back. I'm even kept up late at night because poems that need to be written are flowing out of me.
I love quotes because it's like getting a small piece of advice, or a listening ear, from someone I've never known. Here are a couple of my favorites that have been motivating me since I moved back.
It took a lot of strength to admit that my external circumstances weren't the only problem. I've thought about it like this: when a building catches fire and emergency responders are there to extinguish the flames fast enough, there's only minor damage. The structure still stands, but some repairs have to be made. When a building catches fire and there's nobody there to save it, the entire thing burns to the ground, structural beams and all. I was the latter. Some experiences break us down one piece at a time. Others break us down completely, all at once. Once I realized how much active work the healing process would require on my part, I had these thoughts to get me through:
I'm happy to be feeling myself again!