Monday, March 26, 2012

Travel Planning Makes me Feel Bipolar

I can't wait to just BE IN EUROPE. I still have anxiety when I reach my destination when traveling, but it's much less severe than the planning/getting there anxiety. I'm exhausted and I still have a few days to go. I've been waking up at all times of the night, being wide awake and ready for the day at 5:30am, and going to bed at 2, with waking up every hour in between. And it's not the normally pleasant wake up at 4am, look at my clock and realize I still have 3 hours to sleep happiness. Instead, I wake up panicked, wishing I was asleep so I wouldn't have to think about all the things that could go wrong or what I'm going to forget. This week I feel completely bipolar. One minute I'm happy, confident, and brave, and then the next second I'm in tears laying on the floor in my room or leaning over a shopping cart trying not to black out at Walmart. Yes, anxiety sometimes equals dizziness and fainting. I feel like I'm crazy. Last night I watched The Santa Clause 3 1/2 times, half because I was too lazy to get up and turn something else on, half because everything Christmas helps me calm down. Plus, who doesn't love Tim Allen? haha. Let's get this party started so I can stop feeling bipolar.

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